"5 Million Quid" - Marsh Family parody of The Proclaimers "(I'm Gonna Be) 500 Miles" on Farage gift

A story broke this weekend which exposed that the founder and leader of Reform UK, Nigel Farage, had been gifted £5 million by a Thai cryptocurrency billionaire shortly before announcing his intention to stand for election. It is another example of how while claiming to be a man of the people - Farage is actually raking it in, and beholden to the super-rich and exploiting their resource and control of media to make a bid for power and policies that will benefit them. On Sunday he withdrew from a BBC interview at the last minute, hoping that avoiding questions (before Thursday's local elections across the UK) will allow him to benefit from voters' anger at the failings of the main two parties. A couple of references in the lyrics are explained in links below:
- https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/badenoch-farage-reform-donation-bbc-harborne-b2969706.html
- https://spectator.com/article/potholes-could-pave-the-way-to-victory-for-reform/
- https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c62xg40w4ero

The song we picked, for its iconic numerical hook, was released by the brilliant Proclaimers (twin brothers Craig and Charlie Reid) in 1988 - the lead single from their superb album "Sunshine on Leith" - topping the charts Down Under but only initially reaching no. 11 in the UK. It finally got to no.1 when re-released for Comic Relief in 2007. Our kids were all born in Scotland and did a cover version when they were little, but the accents have long gone and we decided to just leave a twang on a few selected words to try to keep the resonance.

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LYRICS
Can we wake up? Or quite soon we’re gonna see
We’re gonna see this man deepfake a British coup
He’s a buy out! Venting from his own TV
He’s gonna grease his hands – but dodge real interview

This election – well you know he’s gonna seem
He’s gonna seem a man who’s too good to be true!
But he’s no saviour, set to grow democracy …
He’s gonna cheat it as a kleptocrat cuckoo

For Nige did take five million quid
And Nige would take five million more
Just to be the man who spread a thousand
Lies to profit from Reform

When he’s workin’ – well it’s not for you or me
He’s gonna be a grifter for the well-to-do
And when the money comes in, for his motley crew
They’ll pass not a single penny on to you

All them potholes (all them potholes), oh, you know they’re gonna be
They’re gonna be for JCB new revenue
And as for crypto – well you know it’s gonna be
A way to gangbang all of us like Bonnie Blue

But he did take five million quid
And he would take five million more
Just to be a front for foreign billion
Aires to keep their cash offshore

Dunna heed the
Bottom feeder
He’s like: dum diddy dum diddy dum diddy da da da
What d’ya read-a
In the media?
It’s like: dum diddy dum diddy dum diddy da da da

If it’s only, well it’s just “philanthropy”
– it may not be a backhand, bribe or I.O.U.
If no one’s schemin’ – and there’s no payback due downstream
I’ve got a bitcoin stack I’d like to sell to you!

When you go out, well, you vote for who you please
They could be green or yellow, red, orange or blue
Hope your council has some magic money tree
To pay for rubbish vans from here to Timbuktu
To pay for charlatans with second homes …

But Nige did take five million quid
And Nige would take five million more
Just a greedy man who talks us down and
Riles up hate to screw the poor

City trader
Masquerader
He’s like: dum diddy dum diddy dum diddy da da da
Cameo maker!
Barrel scraper!
He’s like: dum diddy dum diddy dum diddy da da da
Message faker!
Brexit breaker!
He’s like: dum diddy dum diddy dum diddy da da da
Clacton flaker!
Profit taker!


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